We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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