I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
