Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
