That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
