At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
