she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
