But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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