I cockslap morals
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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