the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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