im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
too bad you live with your parents still
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
