Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
