You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
