the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i was born a porn star she said
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
