You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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