Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
