Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
