I just saw a hot homeless man
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
