I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
