I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
