shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
