Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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