I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize