You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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