A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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