She's JV to your varsity
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Oh god it's open bar.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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