Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize