grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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