Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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