So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize