i may or may not be watching the land before time
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
