I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
