yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize