I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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