'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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