walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
