Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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