He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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