I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
