my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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