I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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