Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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