I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize