I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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