i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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