I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
