There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
