Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
