grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
