All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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