Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
