Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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