You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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