Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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