we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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