Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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