Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
