I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
