Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
