Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
