I love black thongs
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
