ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
